Why I love spring break

I love teaching. It's fun and meaningful.  It's also all-consuming and stressful.

I feel like I sacrifice so much time with the crew.  That's why breaks are so important. My squad gets all my time and I get to relax. Today is day 2/5. It's 9:20 am. I'm in bed. It's glorious!

Astronaut and princess left because they are teenagers and have lives.  Just kidding! They are with their grandparents. Nerds.  Yesterday, I had breakfast with mechanic bae & squirrel, took squirrel to 2 doctor appointments, helped the little girls clean their room, helped side salad go through his clothes and weed out the small stuff, had lunch with them at Chickfila, saw a movie ("Coco"), did laundry, and went to bed at a reasonable hour.

It's like my SAHM days, but temporary and  paid.  Today, I'm going to do more laundry-it never ends in a family of 7-and consider taking the kids to the pool. I organized my closet this past weekend.


I loved being able to do things with my crew but I don't think I'd want to be a SAHM now. For one, I have no kids at home. They are all in school now.  It's kind of purposes when they are this age.  Also, I truly LOVE my career, my students, and my school.  The balance part is hard, though. I leave before most of the kids.  There are days when I don't get off until 6:30 or 7. I don't get to chaperone field trips and I miss programs. It's stressful, too.  Extremely stressful . But it adds a different type of value to my life. 

In a perfect world, I would have a job with equal pay but half the hours and twice the flexibility. 

One day...

Roughing It-Post 100!

The kids are getting big.  The Astronaut will be 18 in 6 months-and graduating from high school next year.  Princess is turning 16 at the end of the year. Squirrel will be a teenager in the fall.  Side Salad hit double digits last month.  And Popcorn will be 6 this week.

 So in my quest to create lasting memories as well as do things I want to do, regardless of the opinions of others, we went camping.

It. Was. Awesome.

I had a lot of reservations. What do we need? Where do we go? How do we do it. And I'm not particularly close to anyone that is a camper. I like I know some people But I don't *know* them.

Luckily, the SC State Park system employees a crack team of mind readers and created a program called the Palmetto Campout . Apparently, it's been going on like a whole decade but who knew? [Actually, a friend of mine posted about it on Facebook and I stalked the park people until registration opened.]

So I applied and.....we got accepted! I paid my registration fee ($50) and now we're campers!

We learned so much, how to pitch the tent we got to keep:

The astronaut and the princess did an amazing job building and maintaining the fire. And encouraging the flames with their dance moves.

It was a super cool experience.  We cooked over the fire and on coals, we made campfire cobbler.  We survived a surprise cold snap (overnight low was about 37° and rainy). We weren't eaten by raccoons. We created epic memes.

But mostly, we had fun. We did something new. We learned things. We spent time together. We survived. And we made new memories.  

The lesson? Do that thing you were thinking about.   New experiences are amazing.  What's something  you've always wanted to do?

Goodbye, Nexplanon!

**WARNING: This whole post is going to be TMI but I think it is important to talk about these things**

So today I had my Nexplanon removed.  I ended up going alone since the Mechanic overslept (as well as some other drama).  It was the fastest doctor's appointment I have ever had. Seriously. Like they must have sensed my fear and told the good Doctor see me posthaste.  My appointment was at 9:30 & I was out the more door before 10.

I had it removed for several reasons, the first being that my 3 years were up. That was the least important thing, though.

The main issue I had was heavy and frequent bleeding.  The average blood loss is 30-40 mL.  Heavy is 60-80 mL. Or so says the NHS.  I knew I was heavy but I really had no way to quantify it. So I stuck with it for the full 3 years. Also, I was scared to have it removed. The insertion had already traumatized me.

Then I switched to the Diva Cup.  In 24 hours, I bled about 3 0mL. 

And I go for DAYS. 13-15 each month. probably 6 of those are heavy days.  6 × 30 mL is 180 mL.  Add in the not heavy days and I had to be losing at least 200 mL a month.
Let's do the math:

• Normal=30-40 mL
• Heavy=60-80 mL
• Me=200+ mL

My iron level was a little over 9 in February.

The thing is, I knew it was bad but I couldn't quantify how bad until I had the Diva Cup.

There are other issues, possibly caused by the devil's matchstick.  I lost a LOT of weight.  Double edged sword: I'm definitely toting extra pounds but I'm really getting questionable.  Y'all know how people get when you lose weight.  I developed fibroid tumors. I'm too young for fibroids.   And my uterine tissue is going rogue.  I've developed a condition called adenomyosis.  Basically, my uterine tissue is growing into the walks of my uterus .

It hurts. The cure is a hysterectomy . Mine isn't bad, though, and we're going to see if it progresses after the demon splinter is gone and reassess the situation then.


So my doc and I agreed it had to come out and out it came.

As far as the removal, it was scary because I'm a sissy. I shed a few gangster tears.  The needle hurt, the numbing meds tingled. After that, I could only feel the pressure and pulling.  Mine had moved and was encapsulated in scar tissue.  It literally took like 5 min because my doc went slow.  I couldn't bear to watch and I didn't record, which sucks in hindsight.

Funny, such a small thing but such a big issue.

Have you tried Nexplanon or Diva Cup for that matter?  What were your experiences like?

This post is a bit more honest than most, a bit darker.

I'm struggling right now. Mentally amd emotionally. I'm really not sure how much I more I can take.

I don't know how to explain it exactly because I have so much to be happy about, proud of. I have 5 wonderful children, a career I love, enough of everything.

Yet, I'm not happy. I don't think I know how to be. Maybe I forgot. Maybe I never knew. All I know is that right now, in this moment, I feel like I am sinking. I know how to save everyone except myself and there is no one to save me.

reIntroductions Part 1-me

So as I said, so many things have changed. Like my name.

Lettuce and I are no more. I am still sad about this because I miss being married. I miss having someone there for me, someone to share things with, someone who loves me.

Then I remember that my marriage wasn't like that.

There were good times, for sure. And beautiful children. But it was hard and ugly and painful. And at the end of the day, I made the choice that had to be made for my babies.  And I survived.

Since then, I have had some other changes.  For one, I finally finished that Masters I started so many years ago.  It was hard but rewarding. Literally.  My pay grade went up and I am [almost] middle class.  I have some big plans coming up but I don't want to jinx them by saying to much. Know that this is only the beginning.


I also lost a LOT of weight.  Like more than 50 pounds. "Pics or it didn't happen," you say? Well alrighty then.

Old Me

New Me

I did, however, retain my affinity for stripes.  They are the best pattern.   Before the inevitable questions, I mostly changed my dietary habits and increased my activity.  I don't regularly exercise, per se, but I do play football at recess  with my students. I swim, occasionally hike, and rarely sit during the day.  I eat well, drink water, and stopped eating my sadness.  It wasn't overnight but I lost about 30-35 pounds the first year, another 15 the second. I got down to about 145, which was a bit too small, but I'm sitting at about 160 and feeling great about it.  IT TOOK TIME, LOTS OF TIME. To be honest, I wasn't trying to lose weight. I come from a naturally small family so it was not natural for me to weigh so much. When I left Lettuce, I removed the trigger that caused the weight gain and kept it on.

I'm teaching 4th grade for the pasts 3 years. It is amazing and I love it. My kids are bonkers so we all get along. I won't say it's always fun but the good outweighs the bad, for sure.

Next up, the Astronaut...

I'm Baaacckkkk

And a little older.  Maybe even a little wiser.  I sure hope so.

So much has happened.

I was reading through my older posts and reflecting on all the ways my life has changed.

I got divorced. 

It was sad. It was painful. It was liberating. It was necessary.

I lost a lot of weight.

Side effect of the divorce. I'm totally a MILF now.

I'm teaching fourth grade.

I miss being a SAHM but I love my students most days.

I have two teenagers.

My brood is growing up. They are 15, 13, 10, 8, and 4. Four.  FOUR. My little Sugarbaby is 4.

And I'm ready to blog again, even though nobody's doing it anymore. I miss it.

So, welcome back.

Lemme Upgrade Ya!

In case you didn't know, I'm a Crowd Tapper (click the button in the sidebar) and a member of the Old Navy Style Council. It's not just a fancy title, either. I am totally an ambassador.  I'm veritably swagtastic.  And I got to upgrade my style for the summer with Old Navy's white jeans.  Plus, I got to bring a friend!

I'll let the pics do the talking.

I received a coupon for me and one for a friend.  I immediately called my bestie and off we went!

In case you didn't know, Old Navy has a fit for every shape: There are six in all, the four I named plus the Rock Star and the Dreamer.The rise on the Rock Star was too low for me and I didn't see the Dreamer. After perusing the display, I decided to try four fits: the Diva, the Flirt, the Boyfriend, and the Sweetheart. 

We took our finds to the dressing room.

 Then it was dress up time!

The Flirt: They hugged every curve and had a bit of a lower rise.

The Boyfriend: a bit straigher than I like my jeans, but a nice fit. They were my second faves.

The Diva: My third fave, I just thought the fabric felt a bit thin.  I think they had a higher stretch material content.

Cheese!

 

The winner: Sweetheart!  The rise was perfect, the fabric comfy (not too thin and followed my curves without being too tight) and the cut was sassy. The Sweetheart is perfect for curvy girls like me. Here I am in the crop version, though I got the jeans that day.

While there, I downloaded the SnapAppy app and snapped away.  I totally scored a $5 coupon and used it to buy a Tami Tank!  Woot woot! Here's my final outfit.

I plan on picking up a few more Tami Tanks and the Sweetheart crops this weekend.  Thanks, Old Navy and Crowdtap!