Preschooler Logic

Last night I went to the depths of hell [Walmart] with my best friend and her little ones who just happen to be my godchildren. My god son is 7 and my goddaughter is 8 months younger than Side Salad so she just turned 3 last month. I have been trying to explain to her that I'm preggers but she doesn't seem to get or to care.  Case in point:

I took her to go to the restroom at our church's Christmas program. She looked up at me with her sweet doe eyes and said:

           "Your stomach is getting really big."

Wow, I thought. A teachable moment. A time for us to connect and for me to share the joy of a new life with her! I answered her. "Yes, sweetie! My stomach is getting bigger! That's because there is a baby inside! Isn't that cool?!"
My precious poppet looked at me and said:

           "I have to pee."

Clearly, she was less enthralled than I.

So last night, we're at the Wally and I say to her, "My tummy sure is getting big.  And look-it's moving! I wonder what's inside. What do you think?"
She turned slowly towards me, looked at my face, my belly, then my face again and said:

           "You have popcorn in your stomach. It's popping. You ate too much."

All this time, I've been thinking I was pregnant. Turns out, I'm just full of popcorn.

Take that, midwives.