Wordless Wednesday: Maternity Pics (the professional ones)

Location: 

Hope's Ferry Landing 

Photographer: 

NTHeSTReeTzENT marketrap009@gmail.com

Back on the sauce

My iron is chronically low but this pregnancy caused it to plummet.  A little background: complications with my previous birth control decimated my iron levels.  They never fully recovered over the past 2 years.  It appears that I don't absorb iron efficiently through my stomach. Additionally,  iron supplements both nauseated and constipate me.  No fun.

I'd been able to keep my iron at the lower end of respectable for the others but this little bugger had me below 8 which concerned my docs and left me achy, cranky, and exhausted. We're talking waking up ready for a nap. Taking a nap before bed.  Barely able to cook or fold laundry.   Being a crappy mom.

So today, I'm having my 4th iron infusion
 At last check, my iron was a smidgen over 9 but they want it higher so here we are.

Looks like soy sauce...I am hungry.

Needles in,  time to begin.

This is NOT my favorite thing.  I hate needles.  And it feels so weird going into my vein, cold.  Plus, what if I had a run in with Magneto-he could use this extra iron as a weapon against me! That's a valid concern, right? 

But to paraphrase Tommy Pickles, "A mommy's gotta do what a mommy's gotta do!"

The plus side is 2 quiet hours! I usually watch "Arrested Development" until I fall asleep (the process takes a couple of hours) but my son wants me to read this book.

He read it while in Germany last month.  I'm a quick reader and I have 2 more infusions after this so that is what I'll do. As I keep watch for errant mutants. By the way, which mutant do you most worry about encountering?

Poly?

[It's a twofer!  I haven't blogged as much as I meant to due to some tech issues.]

I went to my 32ish week appointment. My funeral measurement (pelvic bone to top of uterus) has been 4 cm/weeks greater than expected so a growth scan was ordered.  Turns out I have a lot of fluid.   (Baby is **estimated** to weigh 4lbs 6oz right now.  It's within a pound of it's papa's birth weight. ) This is called  polyhydramnios.  The main concern is early labor. It makes me wonder if this is why the Mechanic was a touch early.   Anywho, enjoy this sweet baby face and make a guess on what it will be!

It was hard to catch this pic as baby was waving its arms about. It's a busy bee.  On another positive note, the wee one has already wriggled to head position.

Thoughts about birthing babies

<p dir=ltr>&lt;p dir=ltr&gt;I am blogging from outside of my husband's job.&amp;nbsp; They have come up with this wacky new policy that, since the new manager is a woman, someone must stay until she lives to escort her to her vehicle.&amp;nbsp; This does not please me, especially since they aren't keeping him on the clock.&nbsp; </p>
<p dir=ltr>That's another story.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Anywho, two of my internet friends gave birth on the first. I just realized that they both had their third babies.  One had her first girl after 2 boys and one had her first boy after 2 girls. Crazy, huh?
Anywho, I was thinking about how powerful labor is, how it imprints itself on your life, your psyche.

It's crazy to say but I kinda love labor. I love how raw and human and real it is. I love the dichotomy of weakness and power. I love the anticipationans excitement, the warping of time. I love to hear the stories of other women and to tell my own. 

And I especially love Popcorn's labor. I love how supported I was. There were no time limits, no interruptions. It was me, my body, and my midwives. I wish all my labors could have been so real. 

I hate that cultural made labor something to fear and to dread instead of something to respect and embrace. There's a chaotic beauty to it that so many women miss.

Still Pregnant

So I'm either 40w4d pregnant or 41 weeks pregnant and the natives are restless. I'm actually okay with it, surprisingly. No one else is. Everyday, I'm inundated with texts, phone calls, and wall posts asking when I'm going to have the baby. The answer is, I don't know.

Due dates are not an exact science; they are an educated guess.  Just like baby weights (we all have that friend who was told her baby was 9 pounds and it turned out to be 7), it's impossible to medically predict when a baby will be born.  I think that we are so conditioned to early babies-from preemies to 40 week inductions-that a baby being born after 40 weeks is an anomaly.  Which is nuts because the due date is just the middle date.  My dear friend R went to 42 weeks with her last LO, a posterior little fella we call Pip. She's like me, doing things the old fashioned way. No hospital, no needles, none of that hoopla.


Here are a list of factors I think are keeping my baby in:

• Princess was a 41 w 3 day induction and Squirrel was a 40w induction.  My babies have a 50% rate of going past the due date.
• Popcorn is posterior. It's possible that the little noggin simply isn't putting enough pressure on  my cervix to get things...popping. Pun intended.
• I've not gone into labor with a child under 8 lbs.  Astronaut was 8 lb 2 oz and Side Salad was 9 lb 1 oz. The girls were smaller, 7 lbs 9 oz and 6 lb 13 oz. Maybe my uterus has a weight trigger.
• I had a stomach virus yesterday and I'm not back on solid food yet. Maybe my body is cutting me some slack because I am too weak to have a baby today.
• Easter is coming.  Why not show up on a holiday?
• I have a luxury womb.  Why leave?  Ever.

Anyway, I've still been contracting but not enough to push a baby out.  I'm going to take another nap for now.

Foto Friday

All my honey bunnies <3

Today I am 40 weeks and a day, or 39 weeks and 5 days, depending on which due date you use.

Doesn't really matter now, does it? Either way, I'm full term.   Clearly, this fetus is the only person I know who is immune to the infectiously catchy Wobble.  Perhaps a friend of mine was right in suspecting I am in possession of a luxury womb. He said that between the cheese fries, the home cooked meals and the simple warm comfort, there was no incentive to leave.

Perhaps he's correct.

I think that I shan't worry about trying to jump start labor. Baby will come when it's ready. I haven't had one that failed to leave at some point yet.  It is true that the girls needed a little encouragement but perhaps the baby just isn't ready yet.

In the mean time.....

We're waiting on YOU!

Ready to Pop!

Okay, I'll admit it. I am ready to have this baby.  I am really excited, ever since my new goddaughter was born last Monday.  I won't do anything drastic to get it out but I do a few things. Here are some of the things I've done.

I started contracting yesterday. They actually got pretty strong and I threw up a few times. We thought we might get a little baby action but it didn't work out. I've been contracting all day today, too. They've been as close as every 5 minutes and as far as every 20 minutes.  A few have been painful but most are pretty mild.  So I'm trying to get my uterus on my side in the fetal eviction process.

1. Nookie.  Poor Lettuce, nookie doesn't interest me, especially since my girth has expanded to such epic proportions.  However, I suck it up *no pun intended* and get it on in the name of labor.  As you know, semen has prostoglandins that help the cervix ripen and thin.

Sex. Because I never learn.

2. Walking.  I don't like walking, or at least I didn't until we moved. I usually walk in the midnight hour, literally. I  walk between 12 am and 2 am because that's when the hubby is home from work, it's cool, there's no traffic, and the kids are asleep.  I also took Side Salad to the zoo this week.


3. Herbs. Not the ones that actually induce labor, though. I stick to the red raspberry leaf tea and a pregnancy tea blend. I like the Third Trimester Tea from Earth Mama Angel Baby

but it's had to find so I use the Traditional Medicines brand.

Not only are they delicious, hot tea is very relaxing to me.   

4. Body Positions. My womb contains a posterior baby, which may be why my contractions are either strong or regular but not both.  I do pelvic rocks as well as a modified childs pose.  I also sometimes get on all fours and just shake my hiney. Sounds nutty but it's supposed to help and the hubby finds it amusing.  Spinning Babies has some good stuff.

5. Spicy Food. Mongolian grilled it up with the Side Salad and my brother the other day. I made my eyes water and my uterus contract.  Tonight, I'll be having some habenero wings from Chilis.

6. Emotions. I watch exciting movies, the kinds that make you laugh or cry. I watched Airplane! with the hubby.   I saw the Hunger Games this week. May the odds [of going into labor] be ever in my favor.  As an aside, I never knew gold eyeliner could be so hawt on a guy.  

7.  Dancing. Tonight, I danced. I danced like I'd never danced before. I dropped it low with Esther Dean and C-Breezy.  I got busy with Sean Paul.  I wobbled along with V. I. C. 

WARNING: I didn't know my booty was so close to the screen when I taped it O_o

And now, I contract.  If things aren't shaking and baking by morning, I'm going to have to get a little more drastic.

I'm going to gallop down to the playground and get on a swing.

Updates! [a long, rambly type post]

It's been a while since I blogged  but I have legitimate reasons:

1. I haven't been blogging because I've been moving!  Yay! We'd been in our apartment for almost 5 years. Now I will be honest, our new home is a bit smaller but it's also cheaper. The kids love their new school.  Their beloved media specialist from their old school is there as are some kids who sometimes attend our

2. I also didn't have internet because we'd just moved.  Now, I've got internet.  Yay for me!

3. I now have a router. I do most of my internet-ing from my room, but the modem is in the living room AKA Kiddie Land.  I got me a router for bout $40 from Best Buy and my house is a wireless zone.

Now I've resolved all these issues :)

Now for the news you were waiting for:

Baby Popcorn is not here yet. 

Today is my original due date. My due date based on the U/S is Sunday. My midwives and I think it might be soon, as early as today or tomorrow, but you never know.

This week, I've done so many fun things. Monday, I went to see the Hunger Games. It was one of the best book-to-movie adaptations EVER!  I loved it. And yes, I did cry when Rue died.  I wasn't the only one.   Tuesday, I took Side Salad to the zoo and out for Chinese. Wednesday, I had my 39 week prenatal visit. I've been walking and drinking my teas. I don't do the castor oil or all that madness so we'll just have to wait it out a bit.  I'll blog more soon.

I Dream of Baby....so I'm buying baby stuff!

It's taken me a while to get excited about Popcorn.  The early parts of this pregnancy were physically and emotionally difficult (this is the first time I'd ever had the words "threatened miscarriage" uttered in my direction). We didn't even tell anyone outside of immediate family until I was about 24 weeks or so. I tend to show late so it wasn't an issue.  

But now that I'm closing in on 32 weeks, I am finally getting excited.  I truly have baby on the brain!  I made a registry. I pulled out my dipes, just to hold and touch them. I bought a set of 5 onesies and a gown-coverall/hat/bootie set.  I created an event page for my Baby Sprinkle. It's a sprinkle, not a shower because I don't need much be every baby is worth a celebration.  

I've started to dream about Popcorn.  I even had a dream about labor. Yes, it hurt, but it was quick like Side Salad and I gave birth i the tub. It was beautiful. I won't tell if what gender the baby was in my dream, but I'll be happy either way.  

And then yesterday, I went to buybuyBaby and bought this:

 

Vulli Chan Pie Gnon

I am in love with it.  When I squeeze it, it sound almost like a baby laughing. It's so soft and squishy.  The little loop at the top is el perfecto for grabbing. And it's so soft and squishy. I can't wait to see the wee bairn love on it.

>>This is probably the most pointless post ever, but my little pregnant brain has to let it out<<

I love being pregnant.  It's the easiest part of motherhood.  Usually, I'm in no rush to have the baby but this time, I kinda want to hold my sweet babe, smell that sweet newborn scent, kiss those buttery soft cheeks, feel the warmness of a tiny body.  This will probably be my last baby [famous last words I said 4 years ago, too] so I just want to savor every moment.  I think that this week, I'll pack my birthing bag....

Did you start getting baby-obsessed late in your pregnancy?

The Easy Part

This evening I stumbled upon the blog made by James Camden Sikes’ parents. In case you didn’t know (‘cause I didn’t), this little boy passed away at 8 months old from a type of brain cancer called a rhabdoid tumor. I don’t know much about it but I know that his parents are devastated.  They were just regular people, a little younger than me, who had their first child and loved him so much. I know he was a regular baby, albeit extraordinarily adorable, who had cancer. He was a busy baby, a wiggly little guy with crazy hair.

And he lived for a little over 37 weeks.  He lived longer in his mama’s womb than he did in this world. 

And then I thought about a friend of mine, the girlfriend of my ex-boyfriend from high school.  I know it sounds weird but we broke up nearly 10 years ago. He was my first love and our families are close so it’s fine.  Anywho, last year, they had a baby, a beautiful little girl who was perfect in every way. Tragically, she developed without kidneys.  They chose to carry her to term [I think I would have done the same].

She lived about an hour and passed while lying in her mama’s arms. One hour, compared to 9 months. 
**SN: they are pregnant again and she is due 3 weeks before I am**

I was thinking about numbers and statistics that state that 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, how I have friends who have had multiple miscarriages or struggled with getting pregnant.

On my end, I have been exceptionally blessed. I have had 4 full term babies with no major health issues (outside of the Squirrel’s eczema and allergies).  I have another healthy, kicky kids in my belly now. I’ve never miscarried. I have never experienced fertility issues [probably because I’ve never gotten pregnant on purpose. I’ve never had a still born or a baby who died or a child with a birth defect.

But over my 11 years of parenting-no, make that 39 years because 11+9+6+3-my babies have gotten sick, gotten hurt, had tonsils removed, had ear tubes put in, one had an arm in a cast for an injured growth plate, another spent 3 days in the hospital for reactive airway disorder. Things I couldn’t prevent from happening. Things I couldn’t protect them from.  Then you consider the non-physical stuff like being picked on or left out by other kids, having their feelings hurt-more things I can’ t protect them from.

The whole time they are in my womb, they are warm and comfortable and always full. And then they are born. And they get hungry and they get cold and they have wet diapers.  Stuff I can fix but that makes them cry.

I was thinking about how being pregnant is the easy part.

Pregnancy is hard on mommies, no doubt. It’s hard on me but it’s so easy for my babies. I think that’s why I love being pregnant so much.  When I am pregnant, I am the best mother possible for my children. I provide everything.  When I give birth, I am so happy to see my baby but I am so sad for them because I know that it can never be as perfect as it was before they were born. I remember when the Astronaut was born, hearing him cry and thinking how many tears he’d shed in his lifetime. 

So now I’m online with my spotty internet reading about babies who are very sick or who died. Parents who didn’t get to struggle with separation anxiety or potty training or girl cliques or bullying or insolent tweens.  My heart hurts for them and for my four perfect babies who have to suffer through this tough world.

I think I’m having a pregnancy moment because I am totally crying while I’m writing this.  *sigh* Hormones.

I hope the hubby brings me some cheese fries.

Wednesday’s Child [Side Salad’s birth story]

At the ripe old age of 25, I was pregnant again.  Lettuce & I and the kids had just moved to our new place (we’ve been here nearly 5 years now).  I discovered I was pregnant 3 days after being laid off from my corporate job. This was in the early days of the recession, before we knew how bad it would get.  Though he was unplanned (like all the rest) it wasn’t such a dire financial situation. Lettuce was making a lot more money. I had a lot of money saved because I knew I was going to be laid off about 4 or 5 months before it happened. We’d cancelled our cable and become far more frugal. We saved from our pay checks and tax returns, I cashed in my 401(k), I was basically guaranteed unemployment and I was back in school pursuing my BA in education and maxing out my loans. We actually doing financially better and I was able to spend more time with the kids.  I volunteered in the classrooms and attended school full time. We immediately budgeted for baby. We bought a pack of diapers every month so we’d be prepared. We had also decided that I would EBF as long as possible.  We were ready!

I only gained 18 pounds during this pregnancy. Since this baby was Squirrel’s full sibling and she was 6 lb 13 oz (Lettuce was 6 lbs 13 or 14 oz and I was 7 lbs 1 oz), we estimated that our little boy would be around 7 ½ pounds or so. Late in my pregnancy, I noticed that he seemed more squirmy than kicky so I suspected he might actually be closer to 8 pounds.

My friends and I had a calling circle to ensure that everyone’s kids made it to the bus on time. At 6 am, we all called each other. I woke up at 5:55 am on a Wednesday morning in the middle of a contraction. I wasn’t worried; I’d been contracting for several days.  My friend Tonya called me but I didn’t answer immediately. After the contraction passed, I called her back and she joked that I might have my little one that day. I laughed with her. I got Astronaut and Princess (they were in preschool and 1^st grade by then) ready for school and Lettuce took them to the bus stop. I had been having contractions all morning, and they’d been fairly regular so I decided to dress Squirrel just in case. I took a shower. They got stronger, so strong in fact, that I just had to stand still for a while.  I called my mother who said it was time to go to the hospital and that she’d meet us there.  After searching futilely for my purse for a while, we left. Lettuce suggested that we stop for gas but I was really feeling the contractions by the so we went straight to the hospital. On the way, I received another call from another friend who wanted to make sure that the kids made it to the bus. I couldn’t speak during the contractions so it went to voicemail.

I was completely silent by the time we got to the hospital 7 minutes later at 7:22 am.  An employee brought a wheelchair out for me. Since my water hadn’t broken (notice how my water has never broken outside of the hospital?) and I was quiet, they assumed that I wasn’t in active labor. The porter was instructed to take me to maternal assessment. Lettuce parked. My mom arrived and went to L&D to wait for me. She ran into my doc and told him I was on my way in. As it turned out, he’d been on call all night. The porter wheeled me to the elevator and my water broke before we got in. He told me he was taking me straight to L&D-smart guy!  However, once we got there, we were turned around because he had been instructed to take me to labor and deliver. He tried to explain that my water had broken but the nurses just turned him around. My OB apologized for not being able to deliver me but assured me that the on call OB was a great and would be in soon.  After we left, they noticed the huge wet spot on the floor.  By that time, we were back on the elevator.

When we got to maternal assessment, they noticed immediately there was fluid pouring off the seat of the chair. They told the porter to take me back to L&D while they called to advise them that I was on the way.  We got off the elevator again and was guided to a room. I was hustled into a bed and checked.  I was a 9-with that persistent lip-and baby’s head was visible. The nurses paged my OB-he was in the garage –and he came back. The next doc wasn’t there yet. They tried to get a monitor on the baby but couldn’t as he was on the move. My doc came in, booted my mom and Squirrel from the room. He told Lettuce and me that our baby  could die if he wasn’t born immediately and tried to use the vacuum extractor. My little guy was on the move so he couldn’t get any suction.

As he crowned I told myself that once the head was out, I’d be done. I pushed his little noggin on out.  They told me to push again, that I had to push his shoulders.  I pushed again and delivered his shoulder.  “That’s it,” I thought.  “Now, he’ll slide on out.  They told me to push again to get his body out. I was a bit confused but pushed again to get his lower body out. Finally, my little guy was born. My hubby stood to the side crying. He was afraid we were going to lose our son. I hadn’t taken the doctor so literally. I was confident in his health and my ability to birth him. He as born with his eyes wide open and APGARs of 8/10.

Side Salad was extremely alert, looking around. His time of birth was 7:53 am. I had not been up for two hours. When I called my friend whose call I missed, she thought I was joking.  I called my daughter’s school to tell her teachers. I did most of my volunteering with them. They said that I didn’t sound like a woman who’d just given birth!  As I nursed my baby for the first time, I signed the consent for an emergency c-section and other paperwork they give you in the hospital. I had him early enough to eat breakfast while he nursed for the first time, so I didn’t even miss a meal!

The biggest surprise was his weight. He was over 9 pounds. I actually thought the nurses were kidding but it was true. My little chunky had arrived.

STATS

GA: 39 weeks 4 days

Weight: 9 lbs 1 oz

Length: 21 ¼  in

Length of labor: Approximately 2 hours

Interventions: none

A Romp in the Forest [the Squirrel’s labor story]

My 3^rd pregnancy was a bit of a shock. I was 23 years old, and Lettuce and I had been together for a short time and had recently moved in together.  I discovered I was pregnant fairly quickly. 

Constipation is a big problem for me in my pregnancies and I tend to develop heinous hemorrhoids.  They were especially horrible during this pregnancy and I ended up having minor surgery to remove them completely.  I actually lost my job but was able to find another, better one that offered great benefits. I went from fast food to the corporate world.

As I had just gotten this job that raised our standard of living (I was making nearly twice as much money), I was concerned about how my pregnancy and labor would affect it.  I decided to be induced on my due date.  I had packed on over 40 pounds during this pregnancy. My OB estimated my little one would be around 8 pounds or so. I didn’t agree.  She seemed to move too much.  The other kids were merely squirming by the end of my pregnancies. She was still kicking. 

I went to the hospital about 6 or 7 am on a Monday morning. They started my induction around 10-ish with Pitocin. I figured this one would progress quickly as the last two had gone fairly fast.  I was wrong. I labored all day, though it wasn’t uncomfortable. I was given an epidural early on, around 4 or 5 cm.  My water broke around 6 cm. Meanwhile, we all watched Dave Chappelle with my nurse on the room’s DVD player. I brought The Simpsons Movie with me, too, but my doc decided it was push time.  It was about 6 pm. Around 20 minutes later, I had a 6 lb 13 oz little girl.  She was half an inch longer than her big sister, measuring 18 ½ inches long but she was absolutely a tiny little fairy. My husband’s great aunt referred to her as a 5 lb bag of sugar. She was a fussy little thing and we had a bit of difficulty nursing, mostly due to her smaller mouth but we made it.

STATS

GA: 40 weeks 

Weight: 6 lbs 13 oz

Length: 18 ½ in

Length of labor: Approximately 8-9 hours

Interventions: induction/epidural

Tuesday’s Child is Full of Grace [the Princess’ birth story]

I breastfed the Astronaut until he was 13 months old. Within four months of him weaning, I was pregnant again.  I was 20 years old and in the second semester of my first year of college.  I went to school out of state so I decided to return home at the end of the semester and transfer to a local school.

This pregnancy was very different from the Astronaut. For one, there was no mistaking that I was pregnancy.  I was extremely sick and lost around 20 pounds during the first 6 months.  Emotionally, I was a wreck.

>I don’t want to go into graphic detail, but I want you to know that depression during a pregnancy is a very serious thing.  I try to offer words of encouragement to every pregnant mother I know because it is such a difficult time, especially if you are young.   Regardless of your personal opinion of a person’s situation, it is never appropriate to berate a pregnant woman for her situation.  We live in a time where stories of matricide are becoming terrifyingly common.  Mental state plays a huge role in this.  Internalize your negativity because it won’t do anyone any good, especially the innocent baby.  If you suspect a pregnant woman of depression, please support her and try to get her some help.<

By the end, I managed to gain 17 pounds.  At 38 weeks, I stopped working.  I spent the next two weeks folding baby clothes and resting. My little girl was due 3 days before my 21^st birthday.  Her due date passed. My birthday passed. I went to my 41 ½ week appointment.  When my OB told me she’d see me next week, my jaw hit the floor. She was just kidding. She told me to eat and head to L&D for an induction.  I knew from experience that I wouldn’t eat again until my baby was born so I headed straight to Sonic for a last meal. Sonic was on the same street as the hospital so it was a 5 minute trip. I ate and immediately vomited in the hospital parking lot. In hindsight, I was probably in early labor. I had been contracting lightly for a few days and was at about 3 cm.

My induction began around 1 pm and my “discomfort” level escalated fairly quickly. At 4 cm, I asked for an epidural but was told I need to be at least 5 cm.  The anesthesiologist had left his cart in the room. The nurse checked me around 5 pm and I was at 5 cm and my water broke in a big warm rush. She went to get the anesthesiologist  but he was in another room. About 6:00 pm, I became extremely agitated. I felt the urge to get up out of the bed. I had IVs and monitors on me but I still tried to get myself upright. The nurse who was in my room told me that I couldn’t get up and a little yelling match ensued. My mother stood in the corner crying. However, she had her mouth covered and her shoulders shaking so I thought she was laughing. I told her if she thought it was funny she could get out. I’ll admit; I was a bit hysterical. The nurse took that opportunity to push me down and slap an oxygen mask on me. She checked me and I was at 6 cm. She said it was too late for the epi which just made me extremely angry.  20 minutes later, I was as close to 10 as I could get-a bit past 9 with that same little bit of cervical lip. Someone called the doc and she dashed in just in time to catch the little girl that was exiting my birth canal. The princess was 7 lbs 9 oz and 18 inches long.   She was perfect and gorgeous.  There was no fainting but I was famished. We both had a meal; I had a tuna sub and she had colostrum.

STATS

GA: 41 weeks 3 days

Weight: 7 lbs 9 oz

Length: 18 in

Length of labor: Approximately 6 hours

Interventions: induction

“Houston, we have lift off” [the Astronaut’s birth story]

A friend’s recent blog entry inspired me to post my own birth stories.  I’ll start with the Astronaut, as he is my first born.  I’ll make this as complete as accurate and complete as possible J

In the fall of 2000, I was an 18 year old recent high school grad.  During that summer, I began to experience strange symptoms.  I kept having leg cramps at night.  During the day, my nose would bleed randomly.  I thought that I might have some sort of brain tumor.  I googled my symptoms and guess what came up as a possible cause? Pregnancy.  I had not considered that I might be pregnant.  I realized I hadn’t had a period since February and that one had been unusually short and light.  I know this seems strange but I was a late bloomer; I hadn’t even had my period four years yet and it had never been regular. I did some math and realized I was about 24 weeks pregnant. I was barely showing, but had attributed my weight gain to the end of band season.  At 27 weeks, I’d only gained 10 pounds.  I made up for it quickly; I gained 26 ½ pounds by 28 weeks.  . 

I went to my 39 week appointment. My baby was sitting cross legged on top of my uterus which had dilated about 1 cm and wasn’t effaced at all.  I’d lost about 2 pounds. My OB told me that she would try to manipulate the baby at my next appointment.  She estimated that he’d be around 6 ½ to 7 pounds.  Since I’d discovered my pregnancy so late, I hadn’t been on vitamins or seen a doc until I was nearly 7 months.  All signs indicated that I’d definitely be having another appointment. It didn’t concern me because I fully expected my first baby to be late. That’s what “What to Expect” said.  I went home to spend some time with my grandma.

The Astronaut had different plans.

Being so pregnant and tired, I nodded off on the couch in the living room. At around 4 in the morning I woke up to the most gut wrenching pain. It felt like a donkey was roundhouse kicking my midsection. I’d had contractions that’d gotten strong, then stopped so I waited about 30 minutes before calling my mom. She had to work that day and I didn’t want to bother her needlessly.  She answered sleepily.

“I’m sorry to call you, Mommy, but it huuuuuuuuuurrrrrttttssssss!” I wailed.

She said she was on the way and arrived in less than 10 minutes.   I was still on the couch when she got there, whimpering.  When I got up, there was a huge mess on the couch. Common sense, books, the OB, websites all told me this was my bloody show.  Labor brain didn’t comprehend and I keeled like a banshee.    

>Now let me take a moment to tell you that my mother and I have very different styles. I don’t know where she got the volumous brown gingham check monstrosity she put on me, but I think she brought it with her. It was hideous.<

There was no counting of contractions, by the way. Bummer. I’d looked forward to keeping a little record so reflect on.  The contractions seemed to be back to back, but my water had not yet broken. On some level, I wondered if I was really in labor. 

We dashed to the truck between contractions and drove to the hospital.  It was only like 5 minutes away but I swear it seemed like a 90 minute trip on a bumpy country side road in a go kart with no shocks. I felt every little bump in the road. I don’t remember if my mom went in or if an employee came out but somebody put me in a wheel chair and in I went, straight to labor and delivery.

I was panicky and noisy. Every one kept trying to get me to calm down but I was a bit out of control. They gave me Demerol or Nubaine or both. I don’t remember.  It did nothing for my pain, but it did dull my brain a bit so I was quiet. And puke-y.  Those nurses are amazing. They know just whip out a container for you to hurl into. I felt a pop and a whoosh. My water had broken. I was a whopping 4 cm and thinning. And my little guy had flipped over and was head down.  The OB told me that I would probably deliver before lunch time. I progressed quickly, but the pain felt overwhelming so I got an epidural.  In hindsight, I wish I’d toughed it out.  

They gave me the epi shortly after the Demerol.  It came with this fantastic button that allowed me to give myself a little boost if I felt any “discomfort.” I expended 2 full bags of epi while my labor grinded to a halt. At lunch time, I’d only gotten to 7 cm. 2 hours later, I was at 8 cm. An hour later I was just past 9 and fully effaced.  At that point, the on-call OB starting throwing around the C word.  Luckily, I had a fantastic nurse who advocated for me and convinced the doc to let me push past the little bit of cervical lip that was left. 

I started pushing around 3:30 pm.  I’d been in labor nearly 12 hours, in the hospital for almost 11. I was hungry and tired. I hadn’t eaten since dinner the night before and what little bit of food l had left, I’d thrown up hours before.  I pushed but I was so numb I made very little progress. The C word came up again. The OB suggested pushing my baby back up in to my uterus and sending me to the OR. My nurse told him to let me try one more. With her on one side and my mother on the other, I focused and pushed out a bouncing baby boy at 4:11 pm on a Wednesday.  He was 8 lbs, 2 oz and 19 ½ in long.  He had a head full of hair and strong lungs.  He nursed like a champ.  I had torn a bit, enough to necessitate 2 stitches but I was horrendously sore and swollen.  Additionally, the epi caused my blood pressure to drop. I couldn’t get warm no matter how many warm blankets they put on me. The nurses wanted me to use the restroom and assisted me in getting up.  I made my way to the bathroom.  All of a sudden, all I hear was OutKast’s “Bombs over Bagdad.” I looked around with the vague sense that something was wrong.   I looked around and everyone was staring at me. As it turns out, I’d fainted from my low blood pressure.

All in all, it was a positive labor experience. I’d avoided an unnecessary c-section and had a healthy baby who is now a fantastic 11 year old.

STATS

GA: 39 weeks 4 days

Weight: 8 lbs 2 oz

Length: 19 ½ in

Length of labor: Approximately 11 hours

Interventions: epidural

Preschooler Logic

Last night I went to the depths of hell [Walmart] with my best friend and her little ones who just happen to be my godchildren. My god son is 7 and my goddaughter is 8 months younger than Side Salad so she just turned 3 last month. I have been trying to explain to her that I'm preggers but she doesn't seem to get or to care.  Case in point:

I took her to go to the restroom at our church's Christmas program. She looked up at me with her sweet doe eyes and said:

           "Your stomach is getting really big."

Wow, I thought. A teachable moment. A time for us to connect and for me to share the joy of a new life with her! I answered her. "Yes, sweetie! My stomach is getting bigger! That's because there is a baby inside! Isn't that cool?!"
My precious poppet looked at me and said:

           "I have to pee."

Clearly, she was less enthralled than I.

So last night, we're at the Wally and I say to her, "My tummy sure is getting big.  And look-it's moving! I wonder what's inside. What do you think?"
She turned slowly towards me, looked at my face, my belly, then my face again and said:

           "You have popcorn in your stomach. It's popping. You ate too much."

All this time, I've been thinking I was pregnant. Turns out, I'm just full of popcorn.

Take that, midwives.

Looking Good, or how to birth a babe in style

So today I was sitting her ruminating about the whole birth experince and what I want it to be like.  This is my 5th baby so it's not my first ride on the merry-go-round.   I have had 4 vaginal births, two were induced-Prnicess and Squirrel, and two with epidurals-Astronaut and Squirrel.  The most medicated was Squirrel (my tiny baby)  and the least medicated was Side Salad (my mammoth baby).

Anywho, this is my first non-hospital birth.  Yep, that's right. I'm leaving the comfort of the sterile (hah!) medical fortress and going commando.  I'll be birthing at a lovely birth center with two fantastic midwives. 
[Sometime soon I will go into the mechanincs of how medical choices are impacted by finances and what that means to people like me, but suffice to say it's worth it.  I <3 my midwives and my visits are always so long. I haven't had some of the issues I suffered from with other pregnancies, such as hemmaroids and constipation.  It's different.  But I digress. I wanted to talk about my upcoming labor.]

At the ripe old age of almost thirty, I know what I want and what I don't want, and I am less afraid of labor.  By using the birth center, I can avoid things like invasive monitoring and epidurals.  I'm one  of those people Kim Zolciak refers to as a "dumb ass."  I prefer to think of myself as capable of rational thought and able to make decisions based on them. The research I have done and my prior birth experiences led me to this choice. I plan to labor in the tub but I don't know if I want to actual give birth in it. I think I'd rather use teh labor stool.  The idea of wallowing in a tub of poo kinda grosses me out. I want my daughters present, and Caeser Salad and my mommy.  Oh, and my BFF Stacy.  I want to be able to drink (Naked Orange Mango) and to eat if I'm hungry. I want to be able to get up if I feel like it. That's pretty much it.  There's a longer list of things I don't want than things I do!

Being unemployed gives me lots of time to read and drool over stuff I want and today, what I want is some labor apparal!  That's right, you can buy clothes for birthing and they are right cute, too! Binsi's stuff is pretty cool whethe you are hospital birthing, using a birth center, or birthing at home (maybe #6 will be HB. If there is a #6).  I am serious about possibly splurging on some if we can spare the moola. Why not just rock a bikini top and a sarong, you say?  Here's why:

• I'm a bit...gifted up top.  38G, to be exact.  I have yet to meet the sports bra that can accomodate my cuppage while being tight enough on my ribs to work well. 
• A bikini top *might* work, so I'm looking for one now. But it might also be a pain to put on, unlike the Binsi.
• Sarongs are meant to look pretty, not get wet. The only one I have is a gorgeous sheer turqouse number edged with tiny cowrie shells. Fancy, indeed.  Not birth worthy at all. 
• I like new and novel things and I love supporting small businesses. 

Since I'm planning on being sociable and chatty, I'd like to look presentable.  Therefore, the Thankiki and the Binis II Too would be great. The Thankini is long enough to cover up my midsection and the wrap is so versatile! I can use it for all kinds of stuff, like a sarong, a shawl, a BF cover, a light blankie, etc.


 So if you are feeling generous, you should buy me one.