Reflecting on labor

As you know, I have given birth 5 times and each time has been totally different.  Popcorn's was by far, the best and not just because it was 35 minutes long.  I was talking to a like minded mama friend and the difference is that, with the first 4 I felt like things were done to me. With Popcorn, I did something. i gave birth. I wasn't a patient. I didn't need help. I gave birth to my baby and my midwives helped me. They didn't order me around or tell me what to do. They didn't do things to me.  My baby was a bit quiet and sluggish when she was born. They didn't take her away from me and do things to her. They helped her by giving her a little oxygen.  The circumstances were different than they were in the hospitals (I had two in one hospital, and two in another).  

I don't think I could go back to a hospital, barring an emergency.  

If Lettuce and I ever have another kid-which is highly unlikely because I'm getting too old for this!-I'd probably shoot for a home birth, like Jessica at The Leaky B@@b just had and live streamed.  It was baby girl #6 for her.  Watching her labor makes me even sadder that we didn't catch mine.  I thought someone had taken pics of Astronaut cutting the cord but no one did.   I wasn't actively watching her birth but the sounds she was making changed. There is definitely a different kind of sound you make right before you actually give birth.  

My camera can take like 4 hours of HD video and my labor was so short. We could have recorded the whole thing. I'm sad, but I'm not going to dwell on it...for long.  

But you know, it could happen. We could have a 6th baby someday. Who knows?