The irreverent musings of a slightly crunchy mother of 5-the astronaut, princess, the squirrel, side salad, popcorn-and elementary school teacher. I am a semi-crunchy, slightly attached, cloth diapering, breastfeeding mama.
Pain during breastfeeding is an indication of something going wrong.
Something has gone wrong.
Yesterday, I started having kind of a pokey pain-like someone was jabbing me with a needle-in my right breast. It was hot to the touch and swollen. I took my temp and it was 101.5 and I literally had goosebumps because I was freezing.
I suspect that I have a touch of the mastitis or, as I like to call it, "the devil has taken up residence in my bosom."
It could just be a plugged duct but the fever and general sense of malaise are telling me otherwise.
took a long hot bath and put warm wash cloths on my breast
put a warm compress on the bed and laid my breast on top of it
started Popcorn on that side whenever possible. Due to the swelling and excessive milk, she couldn't get my areola in her mouth. I hand expressed almost 2 ounces and then nursed her.
got lots of rest-no easy task with 5 kids. Astronaut made dinner for he and his siblings-hot dogs, carrot sticks, and chips.
drank plenty of fluids, mostly juice and Gatorade
slept a lot. I still woke up every 2 to 4 hours from the pain and nursed.
Today, I feel much better. No more fever or chills. My breast isn't hot. There is far less pain when I nurse. I am assuming it was simply a mild case of mastitis. All I know is that I feel much better.
I know you can't tell from the video but Popcorn is a bit of a screamer. She has these crying jags. They aren't super long, but they are long enough, maybe 15 to 20 minutes. I don't want to use the c-word, but I don't know. It's really frustrating but honestly, I feel like nursing brings me emotionally closer to her and helps me function. This may sound crazy, but breastfeeding clearly defines my goal. I provide sustenance. No one else can do this. This prevents me from feeling like others aren't doing their share. It may not be like that for other people, but it keeps me grounded when I'm feeling worn thin. I have a couple of tools to help me cope, my nursing pendant and my slings.
The Seville *drool*
Yesterday, my ring slings from Comfy Joey arrived. I ordered my slings during Ayesha's (the CJ mama) April Fool's Day sale, before Popcorn was born so I tried to pick gender neutral colors. I only opened the Marrakech for now. I am only one person with one baby, after all. I love the color, a warm terra cotta, and the name, a city in Morocco. Morocco is my number one dream vacation, so it was clearly meant for me. The second sling is Santorini, a deep sea linen. It is named for the Greek island of Santorini and Greece is my other dream vacation. Ayesha picks the best names for her slings! The colors I like are all places I want to visit. I wish I'd ordered the Seville, a spicy olive, though (guess who wants to visit Seville, Spain? Me!!!!). Green is my absolute favorite color but I thought it looked too autumn-y. Silly me. Oh, well-I guess I'll have to order another in the fall!
Marrakech sling
Santorini sling
I put Popcorn in the sling tonight during her crying jag. She was refusing to nurse at the time. It wasn't her first time in it. I had her in there while I made dinner, too. Anywho, she was crying and Lettuce couldn't get her to stop either. She bobbed around on his chest like she was looking for a nipple, then refusing to nurse when I put her to my chest. So, I put her in the sing and talked and swayed. She fussed at first, then quieted down. I sat down on the couch and she let me nurse her until she fell asleep. She's still in the sling now, napping quietly.
Nursing in the sling
Finally nodding off
In nursing news, I am still super leaky. I feel like a milk fountain. The big kids love to point out the wet spots as the appear. It's annoying and I have to remind myself that it's temporary. My nursing pads are never ever nearby, but that's my poor planning.
A plus to using the sling is that not only can I nurse in it, the free edge makes a great nursing cover, if that sort of thing interests you. I personally think my breasts are fantastic and that you haven't lived until you see them. I'm just kidding. See how it covers up my upper portion? It's pretty wide so I can drape it over her and have as much coverage as I need. The fabric is linen, which is breathable. It can get in the triple digits here in the south, and the heat index is unbearable. Linen is a natural fiber with a kind of open weave. As far as security, she feels super secure, not like she's going to fall out at all. The sling came with a DVD to help novice mamas learn how to wear their babies.
Way back when Side Salad was born [4 years ago], I had a pincher on my hands. He'd nurse on one side and want to pinch the other. This was a point of contention for us as I don't like my nipples to be pinched. I heard about the Nurse Purse, the nursing pendant from Lori at Risky Beads, on another blog and decided that it was cheap enough to try out.
NEWS FLASH!!
I am super frugal and won't buy something unless I know I can use it or it's cheap enough to justify it failing me.
So I order the nurse purse from Lori and it worked like a charm! You can read about it here. Then he weaned and I never saw it again. It's been gone like 2 years. Right before Popcorn was born, we moved. Then, literally days before she was born, I found it! I've been wearing it all the time. Today, her little roving hands finally found it. It's really smooth and feels warm because I wear it all the time.
I caught a pic of her holding it. WARNING: This is a nursing pic! If you offended by my magnificent multitasking bosom, don't scroll down!
Popcorn is 17 days old. Yesterday, I was so worn out from doing to much on days 14 and 15 that I couldn't function. My greatest accomplishment was watching the RHOA season finale, part 3. And eating nearly a whole bag of dark chocolate Loacker Quadratini. They really are delicious. Anyway, it was a reminder that I just had a baby a couple of weeks ago and I still need to take it easy. It's very easy, as a mommy, to try to get back in the swing of things too early. You have to rest. Pretty much every non-Western culture expects new mamas to get lots of rest and recuperate for 40+ days after giving birth.
I don't know why you don't get rest, Mommy, but I sure do!
I have been having a lot of leaking lately so I decided to try to save some of that milk. I'd rather save it than marinate in it. The first time, I hand expressed after nursing and got about 20 cc from each side. Today, I got about 30 cc on one side while she nursed on the other. It's not a lot, but I put it in some Lansinoh bags and froze it.
t
That's her "I'm ready to nurse" face.
Even though Lettuce and I have pretty much decided that I'll be staying home with the kids, I think it's important to have some milk stored for emergencies. My milk will keep at least 6 months in the deep freezer. I'd really like to pump some, but I lost the flange from my pump. WIC may be able to help me with one, if I go back to work.
Avent Isis Manual
So let's talk pumping. With the first two kids, I didn't pump. I didn't have pump money. They can be expensive, as I'm sure you know. I vaguely remember trying a Medela with no success. I hand expressed a little for the Astronaut, but my mother ended up bringing him to me to nurse. I know that sounds crazy but I worked super close to our house.
With Squirrel, I knew I was only going to be home for 6 weeks. I began pumping after about 2 weeks and we introduced a bottle at that time. I am a heavy chested mama (about an F-yes F as in frog-cup) so the flanges of the pumps were an issue with me. The flange is the part where you put your breast. I decided to go with Avent for several reasons.
I'd heard they were easier for bigger mamas.
It came with a nice carrying bag.
Avent nipples are wider, more like my nipples, so I figured it would be an easier transition.
The price was right. It was less than $50, not too big of an investment if I couldn't use it.
The pump was super easy to use and I pumped the whole time I was home. I was able to exclusively breastfeed for 7 months, then another 2 months while we transitioned to formula.
But it was hard.
Pumping is so hard and I truly respect the pumping mamas. I nursed first thing in the morning before work, I pumped on my lunch break at work (my job had a lactation room), which was very lonely business. I nursed as soon as I got home. I pumped every night. I was worn out and my supply diminished. There's nothing like baby to breast. In hindsight, maybe I could have used some fennel or Mother's Milk Tea to help me keep my supply up. I was also depending on a manual pump for some pretty high volume pumping. I probably should have upgraded to electric for her.
Avent Isis IQ Uno
With Side Salad, I was a full time student. I went back to school when he was 12 days old. Initially, I took him with me, but he was the cutest distraction. Plus, I had a professor who was uncomfortable with my breastfeeding. Yes, she was a woman. Besides, I was only paying tuition for me, not the kid. I was only gone a few hours at a time so he took a bottle if necessary, but mostly he slept during my class time. I Supgraded to an Avent Isis IQ-about $150 4 years ago-which is the electric version of my pump. It allowed me to customize the pumping action so it wasn't yanking my nipples off. I could make the suction as gentle as I needed it to be. I did not use the petal massager because my breast fit better without it. I told you, I'm a bigger girl. We ended up with a freezer full of milk. I was able to go on a cruise without him. He was about 18 months old at the time. He had plenty of milk and I pumped while I was gone to keep my supply up. I loved my pump. As you know, Side Salad self weaned around 21 months. I put the pump parts somewhere random and now I can't find the flange, though I have all the other parts.
Now I want to pump as a precautionary measure. Worst case scenario, we use the milk to make her cereal when she starts solids. Of course, we're team Avent again.
Today, we participated in the Great Cloth Diaper Change with about 60 other babies! It was fun and really cool. I saw some mamas I knew, including some I met at the Target Nurse-In back in December.
Here are a few pictures:
pre-GCDC
Pre-change snack
Pre-change in a gDiaper
Post-change in a Kissaluvs fitted
Freshly diapered and covered
Happy baby girl
I scored a bumGenius Freestyle Albert (because it reminds me of Big Bang Theory) from Carolina Cloth and then got a Snappi, a wet bag from BubuBibi, and a cloth wipe from Sweet Bobbins in the raffle! There were plenty of great samples in the swag bag, too. Overall, it was a fantastic event. I can't wait to see if we beat last years record, and to participate again next year!
For those of you who are considering cloth, here's a guide to getting started with cloth on a budget. If you're like me, you did it to save money and we really did. You spend thousands on cloth diapers. We spent less than a thousand to diaper 2 kids, including splurges like custom fitteds. It really is fantastic!
As you know, I have given birth 5 times and each time has been totally different. Popcorn's was by far, the best and not just because it was 35 minutes long. I was talking to a like minded mama friend and the difference is that, with the first 4 I felt like things were done to me. With Popcorn, I did something. i gave birth. I wasn't a patient. I didn't need help. I gave birth to my baby and my midwives helped me. They didn't order me around or tell me what to do. They didn't do things to me. My baby was a bit quiet and sluggish when she was born. They didn't take her away from me and do things to her. They helped her by giving her a little oxygen. The circumstances were different than they were in the hospitals (I had two in one hospital, and two in another).
I don't think I could go back to a hospital, barring an emergency.
If Lettuce and I ever have another kid-which is highly unlikely because I'm getting too old for this!-I'd probably shoot for a home birth, like Jessica at The Leaky B@@b just had and live streamed. It was baby girl #6 for her. Watching her labor makes me even sadder that we didn't catch mine. I thought someone had taken pics of Astronaut cutting the cord but no one did. I wasn't actively watching her birth but the sounds she was making changed. There is definitely a different kind of sound you make right before you actually give birth.
My camera can take like 4 hours of HD video and my labor was so short. We could have recorded the whole thing. I'm sad, but I'm not going to dwell on it...for long.
But you know, it could happen. We could have a 6th baby someday. Who knows?
Baby Update: So Miss Popcorn will be two weeks old tomorrow! I can't believe she's been her so long. It feels like she just got here and like she's always been here at the same time. I just love the little sugarfoot so much! I think I mentioned that we moved last month so the kids had to change schools.Well, Squirrel's former teacher (who is also a distant cousin of ours) just advised me that I was invited to the volunteer appreciation breakfast. I used to volunteer/chaperone field trips a fair bit over the years at their school. It's tomorrow and I-well, we-are going! The forecast is 82 so Miss P will be wearing that cute little pink and brown polka dot outfit, since it's one of the few things that fit. After that, we may swing by Target or buybuyBaby and return the plethora of disposable dipes I got for some gift cards or something else I can really use. I wanted to get some more little gPants, maybe in Good Morning Sunshine and Goddess Pink, in the next size up. I got a lot of dipes at the shower. That's crazy because we cloth diaper. I guess people missed the memo.
Speaking of cloth dipes, I am often asked about cloth. We went cloth when Side Salad was about 5 months old. It was a purely financial decision. When we found out I was pregnant, I'd just been laid off. I had money saved, a college refund check, severance, and unemployment. We began prepping immediately, buying a box of diapers each month. SS went throug them fairly quickly and I was tired of tossing money in the trash can 8 times day. Since my unemployment was due to run out, we made the switch. We stared with prefolds and Bummis Super Whisper Wraps. I got a couple of bumGenius 3.0s for when we went out, too. I ended up with a varied stash that included custom fitteds from Orange Diaper Co. nee Scuttlebutts and even a goodmama.
Fresh Oranges (previously known as Scuttlebutts)
I actually just ordered Popcorn 3 Oranges, two of them customs. Pics to come as soon as they get here. Hers will be serged, not turned like his. I digress.
Rockin' a bamboo square and snappi
I got deep in cloth diapering and loved it. I sold the hubby on it. Initially, he would only use AIOs until one day when Squirrel would only bring him a prefold and a snappi. He got with the program. Now, cloth diapering is paying off even more because we get to use the diapers on another kid-SCORE! The only issue is that Side Salad was 2 pound heavier than Popcorn was at birth, and we didn't cloth diaper him until he was about 5 months old. He has lots of dipes but they are entirely too big for her. I went ahead and got half a dozen newborn prefolds, 4 small covers (the Thirsties Hoot <3 and Kushies are here now, two more Thirsties will be here Monday), and the three newborn fitteds (they fit up to 15 lbs) that are on the way. Those should hold her over until she can fit what we have.
I <3 owls!
Side Salad NIP at age one
Mama Update:Well, I've pooped 3 times since I had the baby. This is such a good thing. Other than that, I feel pretty good most of the time. I have been having some leaking. I use the term "some" lightly. When Popcorn nurses on one side, milk floods out of the other. I should put a bottle or something up to it and save it for a rainy day. You know, the kind where rain means alcohol.... It's only an issue at night, when I am too sleepy to bother with bras and nursing pads. I sleep on a towel. It comes in handy when Lettuce annoys me. I am not above using these puppies as weapons. Side Salad finds it amusing. This maybe his first time seeing a baby be breastfed. I wish I'd taken more pics of him nursing. I found a couple on the old blog.
Can I tell you something? Everyday, I feel like I feel every single emotion that I've ever know. I love Popcorn but she cries an awful lot. It can be really frustrating, even though she's my fifth. I really get down sometimes. I try to keep things in perspective. Popcorn is a baby; she can't talk. She can't tell me what she wants. She's in a new environment and it can be overwhelming. Plus I love her so doggone much. That surge of love hormones business is serious! When she cries, I feel bad and overwhelmed but I feel so much for the young mothers because I was young when I had the Astronuat (18 and 4 months out of high school) and the single mamas (Lettuce and I have been together for 8 years. The big kids are 9 and 11. You do the math.) because it's hard. Sometimes I want to cry. Then she stops crying and all is well. But if I were to be overwhelmed, I could hand her to Lettuce. Not every one has that luxury.
Breastfeeding can be a double edged sword. I provided food and comfort, which is beautiful and makes me feel like, I don't know, Gaia. I feel like my body cradled her and created her and nourished her before she was born, and now that she is born I am doing the same. At the same time, I provided food and comfort, which is exhausting and makes me feel like I am handcuffed to the baby. She's a needy little sweetie, that's for sure. It's important to keep things in perspective. I can only do this for a little while, in the grand scheme of things. And she won't always be 2 weeks old. In a few weeks, she'll even out a bit. In a few months, she'll be doing other stuff. Right now, all she does is sleep and grow.
I also remind myself of how much work I'm saving mystuff. You see, she'd still cry and need to be held and fed if I wasn't breastfeeding. But if I used formula, I'd have to make bottles and heat them up and wash them, etc. I'd have to get up at night instead of simply rolling over. I'd have to go to the store. It's just too much on top of what I already have to do. Anyways, this entry is getting a little long in the tooth so I'll stop for now but that's pretty much it, just loving my life and the people in it!
Popcorn is 9 days old now. She's starting to develop a little personality of her own. This is how her nursing sessions go:
1. P frowns and rubs her left fist in her mouth while waving her right hand.
2. I pick her up and uncover the boob that she didn't start on at the last feeding.
3a. If it's the right boob, she latches on perfectly and snuggles. Then, looks around and enjoys the sights while she nurses.
3b. If it's the left boob, she refuses to open wide enough and I have to hold left hand in my left and while also using my left thumb (yes, her head is on my left arm) to pull her chin down so she can get a good latch. Then, as she squirms, I use my right hand to smush my areola as small as possible to get as much in her mouth as I can. This sounds complicated. That's because it is.
4. Baby nurses and look around for 20 minutes. Then she either goes to sleep or simply stops nursing. Meanwhile, either my lap or my cleavage fills with the milk running from the other side as I look wistfully at the box of nursing pads on top of my jewelry box across the room an curse myself for poor planning.
5. Suddenly, P stops nursing and looks at me. She makes a face. It looks like she's going to smile but morphs in to a lopsided grimace-one eyebrow up, the other down with a squinted ey, mouth twisted to one side, lips pursed-and proceeds to fill up her diaper in an explosive way.
Pause: At this moment, I pat myself on the back for using cloth. Otherwise, my lap would be full of baby poo.
6. I sight and reach for her diaper change basket, lay her down, and start undressing her.
7. P begins to shriek. She's not a fan of mid-meal changing sessions. She expresses her displeasure occasionally by pooping or peeing during the change.
8. I finish changing her and put her on the other boob.
Fun times, fun times.
Many times, people worry about if breastfed babies are getting enough nutrition because they don't know how to gauge their consumption. KellyMom.com is a great source of information on knowing if a baby is getting enough to eat but here's a little information on it.
One way is by weight. That's probably the easiest way. Unfortunately, I don't have a baby scale or fish scale to weigh her.
A more common way is diaper counting. However, if you use disposables, this can be difficult. Sposies absorb a lot of urine before they feel wet. Cloth diapers are easy to count because they feel wet immediately. Popcorn poos a lot but some bf babies only poo every couple of days. That's normal.
Finally, there are visual cues that let you know a baby is growing. The baby is happy, shiny eyed, bushy tailed and all. The skin is soft and supple. And most of all, the baby is bigger. Today, Popcorn wore an outfit. That's right. She's wearing more than onesies and gowns now. Furthermore, it's a 0-3 months size outfit, not newborn. So I know she's getting bigger because she can wear clothes.
.JPG)
