Thursday, July 21, 2016

Goodbye, Nexplanon!

**WARNING: This whole post is going to be TMI but I think it is important to talk about these things**

So today I had my Nexplanon removed.  I ended up going alone since the Mechanic overslept (as well as some other drama).  It was the fastest doctor's appointment I have ever had. Seriously. Like they must have sensed my fear and told the good Doctor see me posthaste.  My appointment was at 9:30 & I was out the more door before 10.
I had it removed for several reasons, the first being that my 3 years were up. That was the least important thing, though.
The main issue I had was heavy and frequent bleeding.  The average blood loss is 30-40 mL.  Heavy is 60-80 mL. Or so says the NHS.  I knew I was heavy but I really had no way to quantify it. So I stuck with it for the full 3 years. Also, I was scared to have it removed. The insertion had already traumatized me.

Then I switched to the Diva Cup.  In 24 hours, I bled about 3 0mL. 

And I go for DAYS. 13-15 each month. probably 6 of those are heavy days.  6 × 30 mL is 180 mL.  Add in the not heavy days and I had to be losing at least 200 mL a month.
Let's do the math:
  • Normal=30-40 mL
  • Heavy=60-80 mL
  • Me=200+ mL

My iron level was a little over 9 in February.

The thing is, I knew it was bad but I couldn't quantify how bad until I had the Diva Cup.

There are other issues, possibly caused by the devil's matchstick.  I lost a LOT of weight.  Double edged sword: I'm definitely toting extra pounds but I'm really getting questionable.  Y'all know how people get when you lose weight.  I developed fibroid tumors. I'm too young for fibroids.   And my uterine tissue is going rogue.  I've developed a condition called adenomyosis.  Basically, my uterine tissue is growing into the walks of my uterus .

It hurts. The cure is a hysterectomy . Mine isn't bad, though, and we're going to see if it progresses after the demon splinter is gone and reassess the situation then.

So my doc and I agreed it had to come out and out it came.
As far as the removal, it was scary because I'm a sissy. I shed a few gangster tears.  The needle hurt, the numbing meds tingled. After that, I could only feel the pressure and pulling.  Mine had moved and was encapsulated in scar tissue.  It literally took like 5 min because my doc went slow.  I couldn't bear to watch and I didn't record, which sucks in hindsight.

Funny, such a small thing but such a big issue.

Have you tried Nexplanon or Diva Cup for that matter?  What were your experiences like?

Monday, June 20, 2016

This post is a bit more honest than most, a bit darker.

I'm struggling right now. Mentally amd emotionally. I'm really not sure how much I more I can take.

I don't know how to explain it exactly because I have so much to be happy about, proud of. I have 5 wonderful children, a career I love, enough of everything.

Yet, I'm not happy. I don't think I know how to be. Maybe I forgot. Maybe I never knew. All I know is that right now, in this moment, I feel like I am sinking. I know how to save everyone except myself and there is no one to save me.

Monday, April 25, 2016

reIntroductions Part 1-me

So as I said, so many things have changed. Like my name.

Lettuce and I are no more. I am still sad about this because I miss being married. I miss having someone there for me, someone to share things with, someone who loves me.

Then I remember that my marriage wasn't like that.

There were good times, for sure. And beautiful children. But it was hard and ugly and painful. And at the end of the day, I made the choice that had to be made for my babies.  And I survived.

Since then, I have had some other changes.  For one, I finally finished that Masters I started so many years ago.  It was hard but rewarding. Literally.  My pay grade went up and I am [almost] middle class.  I have some big plans coming up but I don't want to jinx them by saying to much. Know that this is only the beginning.

I also lost a LOT of weight.  Like more than 50 pounds. "Pics or it didn't happen," you say? Well alrighty then.

Old Me

New Me
I did, however, retain my affinity for stripes.  They are the best pattern.   Before the inevitable questions, I mostly changed my dietary habits and increased my activity.  I don't regularly exercise, per se, but I do play football at recess  with my students. I swim, occasionally hike, and rarely sit during the day.  I eat well, drink water, and stopped eating my sadness.  It wasn't overnight but I lost about 30-35 pounds the first year, another 15 the second. I got down to about 145, which was a bit too small, but I'm sitting at about 160 and feeling great about it.  IT TOOK TIME, LOTS OF TIME. To be honest, I wasn't trying to lose weight. I come from a naturally small family so it was not natural for me to weigh so much. When I left Lettuce, I removed the trigger that caused the weight gain and kept it on.

I'm teaching 4th grade for the pasts 3 years. It is amazing and I love it. My kids are bonkers so we all get along. I won't say it's always fun but the good outweighs the bad, for sure.

Next up, the Astronaut...

Sunday, April 24, 2016

I'm Baaacckkkk

And a little older.  Maybe even a little wiser.  I sure hope so.

So much has happened.

I was reading through my older posts and reflecting on all the ways my life has changed.

I got divorced. 

It was sad. It was painful. It was liberating. It was necessary.

I lost a lot of weight.

Side effect of the divorce. I'm totally a MILF now.

I'm teaching fourth grade.

I miss being a SAHM but I love my students most days.
I have two teenagers.

My brood is growing up. They are 15, 13, 10, 8, and 4. Four.  FOUR. My little Sugarbaby is 4.

And I'm ready to blog again, even though nobody's doing it anymore. I miss it.

So, welcome back.