Blended Family: Yours, mine, and ours.

It's been a busy weekend.  In addition to my crew, my plus 2 (Frick & Frack) was here. Those are MechanicBae's twin sons. They are 6 months older than Side Salad so it's a party when the whole gang is here.

Blended families are a unique challenge. We've known these little guys for about 3 or 4 years now so they aren't new to us.  They are great kids; their mom is awesome, too. She has done a phenomenal job raising these little guys and we get along very well. She and MechanicBae have a good coparenting relationship.  Frick & Frack fit right in with the crew.  They are bright, respectful, funny-just really good kids.

But sometimes, I feel guilty.  See, their dad is here. Everyday.  We live together so my kids are in a 2 parent home, for all intents and purposes. MechanicBae is the one  who took Popocorn to school everyday in 4K.  He's the one the teens call when they need a parent during the day. He takes them to their friends' houses and gives them spending money.  He has inside jokes with all of them.  He is even learning to say "no" to their constant and incessant requests.

But he is Frick & Frack's dad.  We didn't date until after MechanicBae and his ex-wife were already apart and their divorce was finalized before mine.  And then we weren't a couple until a couple of years later.  So I don't feel like our relationship interferes with his parenting. BUT, I can't imagine not seeing my babies all the time. And I know what it feels like to not see your parent every day.

I do what I can to make them feel like a part of the family. We take them on vacation. I get them the same level of gifts I buy mine. They have some clothes and PJs here.  I hold them to the same standard I hold me.  They have to read during reading time, no tech at the table, and even summers have bedtimes.  Just like I fuss at Side Salad about showering and brushing his teeth, I do the same for them. When we are out, people assume that I birthed them, too.

Teaching them to play Phase 10

But then....they go home. And MechanicBae is still here.

And I still feel guilty.

And it's even harder now that Lil Fish is on the way. I already told MechanicBae that I want all the kids to see the baby at the same time. This means the crew will be in the waiting room until Frick & Frack can get to the hospital. This baby is as much their sibling and I don't want them to feel like they aren't equally important.

I do what I can.

Are you raising a blended family? Did you grow up in one?  What were your challenges?